I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
