So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize