Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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