so explain again why im purple
no
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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