Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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