there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
