people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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