Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
