im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
