I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
