I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If that was your dad, he is hot
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
