ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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