Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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