absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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