i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize