I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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