What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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