Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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