Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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