the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
