please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize