I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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