She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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