STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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