Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
