i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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