kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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