If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
