Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
