Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
