I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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