My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
