I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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