I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize