??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
