eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
