He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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