speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Are we still banned from the library?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together