so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She even gives head with a lisp.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.