watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.