I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night