my mouth tastes like poor choices
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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