New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
