Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
