Are we in a gay sports bar?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
