What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
