glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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