so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
