Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
