so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
