So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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