i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
