Sponge bath it is.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
