He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
