I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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