he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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