Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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