When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.