Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...

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  (412): Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands... http://tfl.nu/7chd
  Replies (10) Good night (1371) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...

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  (612): I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person... http://tfl.nu/4pvh
  Replies (25) Good night (4703) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me

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  (978): literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me http://tfl.nu/9ayb
  Replies (41) Good night (5900) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.

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  (205): Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga. http://tfl.nu/3ybq
  Replies (13) Good night (5006) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6284) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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  (850): And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will. http://tfl.nu/iz1b
  Replies (18) Good night (3196) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (7086) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

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  (217): I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos. http://tfl.nu/dg53
  Replies (10) Good night (3406) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1136) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?

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  (206): How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!? http://tfl.nu/pijo
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.

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  (541): I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house. http://tfl.nu/7lqp
  Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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  (501): Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick. http://tfl.nu/s37k
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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  (501): Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow". http://tfl.nu/7f9c
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (519)

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