it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with