Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4483) Bad night (791)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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  (434): The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/goyi
  Replies (22) Good night (7737) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (1984) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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  (847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw
  Replies (39) Good night (4075) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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  (818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8
  Replies (6) Good night (5828) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's paint friendship bongs

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  (989): Let's paint friendship bongs http://tfl.nu/nm34
  Replies (5) Good night (2297) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.

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  (817): I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw. http://tfl.nu/upb5
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?

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  (909): Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy? http://tfl.nu/bd8h
  Replies (7) Good night (398) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.

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  (631): Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner. http://tfl.nu/12fk
  Replies (6) Good night (1457) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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  (508): You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes... http://tfl.nu/do6f
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.

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  (613): The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me. http://tfl.nu/tj8o
  Replies (2) Good night (915) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I'm kind of in the library.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.

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  (757): Oh and I'm kind of in the library. (757): Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move. http://tfl.nu/r83r
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again

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  (863): I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again http://tfl.nu/i6de
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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  (501): Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow". http://tfl.nu/7f9c
  Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (395)

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