i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
