so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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