Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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