girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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