yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
