I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
