What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
