is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
