filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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