drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
